


Honey, I'll Make It Out Alive

by CuddleMonsterLab



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dirk has depression, Jake has an anxiety disorder, Light Angst, Little bit of fluff at the end, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Past Suicide Attempt, all that fun jazz, the jadekat is very very minor, the suicide parts are just briefly talked about, you need to squint to see it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 05:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6786289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuddleMonsterLab/pseuds/CuddleMonsterLab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You've been texting and calling his phone for what felt like hours."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honey, I'll Make It Out Alive

**Author's Note:**

> So I haven't really been in the homestuck fandom for a couple of months now, right now I'm actually in the bandom, but I found my old journey where I would write my homestuck fanfics since I preferred writing my fics down first at the time. Anyway I decided I would fix and type up some of the good ones and post them here. 
> 
> Thanks so much for deciding to read this, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Title from "Snakes On A Plane (Bring It)" by cobra starship

You've been texting and calling his phone for what felt like hours.

As of lately Dirk hasn't been feeling his best, his depression has been acting up quit a bit. Sometimes he will have these weeks, days, months where his depression will hit him hard and seemingly out of nowhere. He'll try to hide it from you because he doesn't want you to get all worried about him and end up giving you anxiety and also make you fuss over him, it makes him feel guilty. But you've known long enough to know when there's something really wrong with him. 

When Dirk gets like this he almost never leave your bedroom, he barely eats without you having to force him to eat. He's already is not very much of a social person but when he has these days he barely even talks to anyone, not even you. He's told you that on those days he either feels completely empty or he's constantly irritated and pissed. 

You remember when his depression was really bad in high school and he tried to kill himself. That was one of the worst night of your life to know that your best friend was hurting so bad. You knew that he was depressed, but you didn't think it was that bad most of your friends thought the same. You would have never thought that he was feeling so bad, he never acted like he could maybe be suicidal. Well, he's always been known to hide his feelings, plus he never liked to share his feelings as well as his problems with other people. It was just the way he was.

Your little cousin, Jade had just had her first child 4 months ago and of course you promised her that you would find time to go and visit her and her husband, Karkat. Originally both you and Dirk we're going to go visit Jade together but his job got in the way of their plans and Dirk ended up having to stay back. 

You were totally fine to leave him alone because he hadn't had a depression streak in so long that you convinced yourself it would be okay for you to go, and that he would be fine without you for a bit. You were right well for the few days until Dirk called you late into the third night and told you he wasn't feeling so hot, and that he was worried one of his many famous depression episodes were gonna start up soon. 

You told him that you could leave early and come back home to be with him, but he refused your offer and also refused to let you come home early for him. He said he would be okay without you for the four remaining days of your visit.   
Each day you called him and made sure he ate and got out of the house for a bit to get fresh air, and also take your pride and joy Daisy, you and Dirk's Jack Russell Terrier out for a walk. 

He seemed to be holding out pretty well until the last day. After you pack your suitcases, since you have to get on a flight back to Texas that afternoon, you decided you would call him to check up on him and to tell him you would be home in a couple hours. But when you called him he didn't answer his phone. That didn't worry you since he could have just missed your first call so you call him again and a third time and two more times after that. 

Once you called him five times without an answer that's when you started to freak out, you started to send him texts after texts you were close to having a anxiety attack but Jade was able to get you to calm down before you began to get one. 

After she had got you to calm down She suggested that maybe he was just asleep and didn't have his phone with him, you don't know why you calmed down after she said that because, you know Dirk always has his phone with him.   
But you decided you had to calm down, because you didn't want to have an anxiety attack in front of your cousin and freak her out.   
Plus you have to leave to catch your plane soon and if you got an anxiety attack, you wouldn't trust yourself to go on a 5 hour plant flight by yourself. 

You decided to leave him be and didn't start trying to call him again until you were on the plane.

Once you got to the air port and went through all the security and got your seat, you tried and called him. Just like the times before he wasn't answering. It was already around 12:30 in the afternoon so he had to be awake he never sleeps in that late into the day, he would have gotten up already and saw that you were trying to contact him and he would have call you back already. 

You started to freak out even more your mind coming up with countless reasons as to why he wasn't answering his phone. The one thought that you just couldn't seem to get rid of no matter how hard you tried was that your boyfriend had tried to killed himself. 

He'd tried to do it once, and he could have tried to do it again. At this point you were almost certain that you were having an anxiety attack, you were having trouble breathing and it almost seemed as if everyone around you were a loud blur of strange noises. You wanted to curl up and cry.

You definitely were having an anxiety attack. You tried to remind yourself that it was just your overactive imagination and anxiety talking and that Dirk was fine, He was probably at home watching TV and free style rapping to your dog, like he would do every now and then. But you couldn't help think 'what if something was really wrong'. 

You honestly couldn't take feeling like this and having all these terrible thoughts race through your mind without stopping. You still had four an a half hours left of you flight and you couldn't stop thinking that something terribly bad had happened to Dirk, or that he had done something terribly bad to himself.

With a loud sigh you leaned over and unzipped your pale green backpack lying at your feet and retrieved a bottle of sleeping pills, you took two out before popping them both in your mouth and swallowing them dry. You put the pill bottle back in your backpack and zipped it up before placing it back on the ground. You struggling to find a comfortable position to sleep in, but once you did you shut your eyes and prayed to God for sleep to overcome you soon.

To be honest you weren't really sure when you fell asleep but you know it took a while for sleep to come to you, but once it did you were out light a light. You didn't end up waking up during the flight not even when it landed, but the lovely elderly women sitting next to you woke you up when it was time to exit the plane.

It took you around 10 minutes to finally get out to the parking lot and find your car, plus another 3 minutes to start the car and get all of your bags into the trunk of your car. You've been told multiple times by multiple people that you pack a lot while going on trips. 

As you pulled out of the parking lot and began your 20 minute journey to your apartment your, anxiety still happen to be raging on, making it hard for you to focus and drive safely. When you reached a red light you quickly pulled out your phone out of your hoodie pocket and immediately went to type Dirk's number into your phone. 

You tried to wait patiently for Dirk to hopefully answer his phone, but you had called him 6 times as well as text him a bunch so your patients was running thin, and the fact you were having some intense anxiety wasn't helping . The beeps went by one after one until you heard Dirk's prerecord voice telling you, for what felt like the hundredth time, that he couldn't make it to the phone and if it was really important to just leave a message. With a loud wail you turned off your phone and threw it on to the passenger seat. You continued to stare at the red light until it turned green, the only thing on your mind now was to get home to Dirk. 

You continued to speed home and you would want to admit this to anyone, but you did consider running a red light a few times, but hopefully you didn't actually go through with it. You can admit that sometimes you do stupid things but you didn't want to end up in trouble with the law because of it. 

Once reaching the apartment complex you hurried to get yourself out of your car deciding to leave your bags in the car, you could get them later, once you found out if Dirk was okay. 

You practically sprinted to the doors of the building, once in you figured it would be faster to take the stairs instead of the elevator. After running up 6 flights of stairs and nearly tripping four times you finally made it up to the floor your room was on. 

Once reaching the door to your room you figured it was locked since you knew that Dirk always had the door locked when he was home alone. You went to retrieve your keys from the pocket of you jeans with incredibly shaky hands making it a little bit difficult, but in the end you managed to get your keys. You immediately found the house key on your rings of many keys, because of the camo patten on it. You quickly unlocked the door and hurried in. When you finally got into the room you slammed the door shut and called out Dirk's name frantically. 

Your anxiety levels rose extremely high when you got no response in return. You rushed into your small living room and almost started to cry of relief when you saw Dirk safely curled up on the brown couch with more stains than you have friends, soundly sleeping with Daisy curled up at his side.   
You pretty much threw yourself on to Dirk startling him awake, but you could've care less. You were in his lap with your arms rapped around his shoulders and your head buried in his neck, you were so glad he was all okay. 

"Oh god, mate." you whispered into his neck kissing it lightly.

You heard Dirk let out a sleepy groan as he moved his arms to rest around your waist."Jake, what the hell was that all about? You scared the shit out of me." He said, beginning to stroke your hair.

"I thought something terrible happened to you." You whispered back into his neck.

"What," he whispered into your hair "I could heard you, Jake". 

You lifted you head from his neck, adjusting yourself in his lap so you could look at him with your firm but still watery eyes

"I thought something bloody happened to you," your voice rising a bit. "I keep on texting a calling you, and you weren't picking up. I -I thought something happened to you, I thou-," you had to pause for a second when a wave of emotions washed through you.

You took a deep breath to try and calm yourself down, and to keep yourself from crying. Then you continued."I thought you tried to ki-." 

You were interrupted when Dirk pulled your head back into his neck and pulled you closer to him with the arms he had rapped around your waist.

"No, baby," he paused to plant a kiss on the top of your head "I did something far more stupid than trying to do that. I was having a shower, and I had my phone on my towel that was on the top of the toilet," he let out an embarrassing sigh before continuing "when I finished my shower I went to grab my towel, forgetting my phone was on the towel I picked it up and my phone slid," he paused for a bit "my phone slid into the toilet, and it broke." 

Your eye went wide and you sat up in his lap before letting out a loud giggle. Dirk looked at you and frowned.

"Hey, don't laugh." he yelled out. 

Which only turned your loud giggles into a really hard laughter, making you snort every once and a while. That seemed to make him even more upset, because he proceeded to push you out of his lap and on to the couch.

"Jake, no," he whined out.

"I'm sorry, love," you stopped to try to calm yourself down "it's just I'm so relieved, you definitely didn't do what I thought you did. I also never thought that Dirk Strider would drop his phone into the toilet." 

You finished, giggling a bit at the ended. Dirk looked at you and sighed 

"Fuck, do you know hard it is to be mad at you when your being this fucking cute." He said smirking near the end. 

"I guess my cuteness is just your only weakness" you said then kissed his nose. Dirk cupped your cheeks than kissed your lips softly.

"It's my second weakness," he smirked "My first weakness is your amazing ass."

"Hey!" you giggle and pulled away from him, lightly slapping his arm.

He smiled before pulling you back on to his lap and wrapping his arms around your waist, making you have to straddle him to be comfortable.

"I love you, Jake, so much."

"I love you too." You said then cupped his cheek and kissed him softly. 

In the end, you guess there was nothing really to worry about.


End file.
